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Mike Fish's avatar

The brutha with the shades on, inside the house, DEFINITELY doesn’t have a clue about……..prison burritos +++.

Snack sized Chili Cheese Fritos, snack sized Flaming Hot Cheetos, and Chili flavored Ramen are “must have” ingredients.

Jalapeños in a jar are also a staple in the recipe of any penitentiary gourmet.

And, way too much water, dude!!!

A loud mouthed faggot like Gordon Ramsey would be in P.C.-(Protective Custody) or the infirmary in a matter of days/hours.

And, what the fuck is that whine/wine???

No self respecting convict would be caught dead or alive with a fuckin’ ziplock bag.-CONTRABAND!!!!!!!

Garbage bags baby!!!

And, it’s easier to burp your baby when you keep it in a Hefty trash bag.

The toughest part of creating a batch of “adult beverage” is stealing some yeast from the prison kitchen, in order to properly prepare a batch of eau de toilet Cabernet Sauvignon.

Sugar, fruit, and fruit juice are easy to accumulate.

What every aspiring, incarcerated vintner has to understand is that the “aroma”/stench involved is this process is what usually gets the winemaker “busted”, as it is quite odiferous/odious/offensive.

Have any person can drink that shit is beyond me!!!

Desperate times call for desperate measures???

Proper preparation of prison burritos is more closely/accurately described in a post on Wordpress.

I hate to brag on my culinary genius, but I am the inventor of the N. Arkansas penitentiary desert delicacy known as “Prison Bars”.

Unfortunately, kind readers, my recipe is as closely held as Colonel Sanders secret eleven herbs and spices.

Should we have the opportunity to break bread together, I’ll gladly whip up a big batch.

And, fortunately, a stainless steel toilet is NOT required, or desired!!!

As a quasi sloth myself, I can tell ya that my tree hugging cousins tell me that they’d be much happier if the fucking white people wouldn’t mind staying with their own kind, insteada shittin’ all over their rainforests.

Racist sloths!!!

It kinda sucks bein’ white and Murican.

All them “coloreds” don’t seem to want us around.

I think that they might like the money in Murican’s pockets, till they find out that there’s “stings” attached. You know.

The ugly Muricans with the dirty green.

I shoulda got the hell outta here over twenty years ago, when the Jews demolitioned them casinos in Jew York Shitty.

Hell, twenty years abroad and I’d probably, hardly even be white anymore.

But, I had responsibilities.

A widowed mom, and some fuckin’ kids.

Where are they all now???

You’ll never guess.

Flyin’ all over the fucking place.

Gone gawkin’ at my sloth buddies in Costal RICO.

Takin’ stupid pitchers in fronta Fucking-Sham Palace.

Gone to Roam to see the ruins.

Next month it’s off to Mexico, lookin’ for more ruins.

After the spa in the jungle, of course.

If the fuckers want to see ruins, or the aftermath of fallen empires, they coulda saved some money, and just stayed home in the U$A.

You know who would really be splendid candidates for prison burrito chefs???

All of the loser lowlife, perverted pricks, who take their putrid penises overseas and molest/rape little kids.

I say, cut their cocks off and use em for meat in the burrito bags.

Muricans, Israelis, and all the rest of those deprived/depraved pieces of shit.

I’m just lookin’ for a friendly place to die, where the homies are willing to discover that just because a dude is palefaced doesn’t mean that he’s a two faced piece of shit.

We may all look alike, but we don’t all think alike.

Bein’ affiliated with the U$A sure has a way of givin’ a fella a bad name/reputation.

While maybe unfair, certainly not undeserved.

I am kinda hairy.

Maybe if I quit shavin’ my fellow sloths will let me rent a treehouse from em.

It’s gotta beat bein’ in Whizz-con-sin.

Did I say “gotta”???

Make that “gonna”.

Think positive .

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